Written by Adrian Thomas Elvin
It all started when the retreat poster began making its rounds among all the ministry leaders. I saw it and immediately told myself, “Oh dear… not interested. I’m sure someone from the BEC will go.” Not long after, my BEC leader approached me and asked if I could attend. I replied, “Let me check my schedule and I’ll get back to you.” Honestly, my entire July calendar was jam-packed. Everything was back-to-back. It was exhausting. A week later, I informed my leader, “Sorry, I won’t be able to make it. Please find someone else to replace me.” Then, about two weeks before the retreat, I received another invitation—this time from another ministry—asking me to sign up for the CDM Leader’s Retreat. I was still reluctant because I was severely sleep-deprived. Like I said, my schedule had been non-stop. So I prayed, surrendered everything to God, and eventually signed up.
Finally, the day of the retreat arrived. Before heading to church, I told my friend, “I’m super tired. I’m going to be very quiet, mind my own business, and probably sleep through the sessions.” We were practically dragging ourselves to the retreat. With a heavy heart, I boarded the bus. To my surprise, instead of everyone catching up on sleep, the bus was buzzing with conversations and laughter. That should have been my first hint that this retreat was going to be something special.
Late that night, we finally made our dramatic entrance into Dominic Villa. The moment we arrived, everyone welcomed us with loud cheers and applause. There were jokes flying around everywhere, and the atmosphere was simply electric. It was an epic welcome. After registering, I looked forward to meeting my group. As I looked around, I couldn’t help but think, “How on earth am I going to be a leader among so many people with different personalities, opinions, and ways of thinking?”
The ice-breaking session began, and yes… they chose my all-time hated activity: Human Bingo. I absolutely dread that game because it means walking up to strangers, starting conversations, and somehow keeping them going until I get all the answers. The funniest part? Some aunties and uncles were copying other people’s answers as though it was an examination. Goodness gracious!. After surviving Human Bingo, I got myself changed and decided to call it a night.
The next morning, I was up by 6.15 a.m. to enjoy the cool Genting breeze. It was magnificent. The crisp morning air brought a sense of peace and calm. Little did I know, this was my second hint that God was preparing something special for me. During breakfast, I told myself once again, “I’m just going to sleep during the talks.” Well… that plan didn’t last very long. The moment Fr. Xavier Andrew began speaking, something unexpected happened—my sleepiness completely disappeared. I was genuinely surprised. He opened his session with John 15:1–11, the passage on the True Vine, drawing our attention to the words, “Abide in me as I abide in you.”
He then introduced a song centred on the words “Refine and Transform” That immediately caught my attention. The retreat theme, “Healing Through Christ: Restoring the Heart of Leadership,” was exactly what I didn’t know I needed. Every slide, every explanation, and every reflection felt like a gentle slap across my face—in the best possible way. It was no wonder I couldn’t fall asleep anymore. He later reflected on Matthew 20:26–28, reminding us that true leadership begins with the heart. To lead is to serve, and to serve is to do so with humility.
Ouch! That was probably the hardest lesson for me to swallow. Let’s be honest—some people are incredibly kind, while others can really test your patience. Imagine putting aside your pride and ego to serve those who constantly irritate you. Actually… don’t imagine it. That’s exactly what Jesus did. He stooped to the lowest place to serve others, and He calls us to do the same.
The Gallery Walk was another unforgettable experience. As I journeyed through Stations 1 to 9, I couldn’t believe how every reflection card I picked resonated with my personal life, struggles, and beliefs. Or was it just me? Did anyone else feel the same—that somehow, the card you drew spoke directly to your heart? I was completely dumbfounded. Well played, Holy Spirit! While making our way through the stations, our group also managed to plan our skit—talk about killing two birds with one stone. After the Gallery Walk, Fr. Xavier reflected on Philippians 2:1–11, encouraging us to imitate Christ’s humility and servant-hearted leadership. It was yet another reminder that authentic leadership is rooted not in authority, but in self-giving love.
Sr. Margaret’s session on Synodality was another eye-opener. She helped me understand where the Church stands today and where she is journeying. Throughout her talk, she repeatedly reminded us to listen—not only with our ears but also with our hearts. As leaders, I realised this is an area where many of us struggle. We hear people’s words, but we don’t always truly listen. Perhaps that’s one reason misunderstandings happen so easily.
She also spoke about the pitfalls highlighted in the Vademecum, reminding us that dialogue is essential in leadership. Genuine dialogue means listening deeply and walking together. It calls for humility, openness, patience, active participation, and a sincere willingness to understand one another. She concluded with a beautiful invitation that continues to stay with me: “Walk with purpose, listen with love, and hope with confidence.”
Before we knew it, the retreat had come to an end. Although we were physically exhausted, our hearts were full—full of laughter, joy, meaningful conversations, and renewed zeal. Those three days passed by so quickly, and amazingly, without any major hiccups.
The reason I decided to write this testimony was because of an unexpected thought that came to me while reflecting on the retreat. The song “Hero” by Mariah Carey came to mind.
These lines, in particular, stayed with me:
“There’s a hero, if you look inside your heart, you don’t have to be afraid of what you are…” “And then a hero comes along, with the strength to carry on…”
As I reflected on the retreat, I realized something profound.
Sometimes we spend so much time looking for heroes to inspire us that we forget God has already placed the courage, strength, and calling within us. Leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It begins when we allow Christ to refine our hearts and transform us from within.
If I could summarize my entire retreat experience in one sentence, it would be this:
“You don’t have to be worthy, you just have to be willing…” St. Padre Pio
I left Dominic Villa carrying more than just memories. I left with heartfelt lessons (pun intended), joyful conversations, countless jokes, and beautiful friendships with people from all walks of life. Ironically, I arrived exhausted, expecting to sleep through the retreat. Instead, I left spiritually refreshed. Sometimes, God doesn’t call the well-rested, the most qualified, or the most prepared. He simply calls the willing.
To the organizing committee, thank you for your tireless efforts in making this retreat such a meaningful experience. A special word of appreciation to Fr. George Harrison for making this retreat possible.
It truly was a weekend to remember.